The Wali
A wali (guardian) of the
bride is necessary to represent her in concluding
the contract. The wali is a male relative who would
be her guardian if she were a minor, for example
her father. However, if he is not available, a brother,
uncle, grandfather etc. will suffice.
If none of these exist then a Muslim ruler or judge,
and if they do not exist then a prominent leader
of the Muslim community (see Fiqh us sunnah,
Syed Sabiq, Sar al-Kitab al Arabi, Beirut, 2nd ed,
1973, vol 2 page 120)."No marriage contract is valid
without a wali." - Tirmidhi and Abu Dawood
"A woman may not act for another in concluding a
marriage contract, and a woman may not conclude
her own marriage contract." - Ibn Majah and Daraqutni
The Offer
and Acceptance
Both offer and acceptance must be explicit in mentioning
the word marriage (or any other word in any language
implying a similar situation). Both statements should
be made at the same sitting, i.e. one party to the
other.
The Bride's Agreement
The bride must be agreeable to concluding
the marriage by her wali. This agreement should
be specific to marrying a specific man and all other
conditions, if any, must be agreed upon also.
The Witnesses
At least two Muslim male witnesses
are required or one male and two females - all of
them having reached the age of puberty and being
of good character.
The Sadaq/Mahr
The Sadaq or Mahr
(dower) is a required marriage gift given by the
groom to the bride. It represents his commitment
to take care of all the family expenses including
her personal needs… "And give women their dower as a free gift." (surah
4 verse 4)
Sadaq may be money or in kind, but
it should be specified in its kind and quantity.
It may be paid in full at the time of the marriage
contract, or postponed until a definite or indefinite
date in the future. That which is deferred becomes
due upon divorce. The value of Sadaq can be anything
from $1 upward (and must be agreed upon by both
parties).
The Procedure:
- Witnesses
and guests take their seats.
- The
wali of the bride and the groom sit facing each
other, close to the witnesses so that they can
be seen and heard by the witnesses.
- A
learned man delivers a short ceremonial speech
(see the khutbah at the end of this article).
-
Then
the wali of the bride addresses the groom with
the following words or something similar:
"In the name of Allah the Merciful, the Mercy
giving, Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds,
and Prayer and Peace be upon the Prophet Muhammed,
his family and the companions.
I marry to you my daughter (sister/niece etc -
mention the full name) whom I represent, in accordance
with Islamic Law and the tradition of the Messenger
of Allah (pbuh) and for the Sadaq agreed between
us." (details of the sadaq and method of payment
may be mentioned).
The groom answers:
In the name of Allah the Merciful, the Mercy giving,
Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, and Prayer
and Peace be upon the Prophet Muhammed, his family
and the companions.
I accept to marry the woman you represent, in
accordance with Islamic Law and the tradition
of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) and for the Sadaq
agreed between us." (details of the sadaq and
method of payment may be mentioned).
[This offer and acceptance should be declared
in the presence of the witnesses, Allah is the
best of witnesses. By this the marriage concluded
and the bride and groom become husband and wife].
-
To
make the marriage publically it is reccomended
to have a walimah. The Prophet (pbuh) saw a trace
of yellow colouring on Abd al Rahman and asked,
"What is this?"
He answered, I got married. The Prophet (pbuh)
said, "May Allah
make it a blesing for you. Make a walimah even
with only a sheep."
- Bukhari, Muslim and others.
-
The
best way to congratulate the bride and the groom
is to say: "May Allah make it a blessing for you
and a blessing to you together with all that is
good." - Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood
The Marriage Khutbah:
[This is not essential; the marriage
will be legal without it; however, it is Sunnah
to have a Khutbah].
Praise be to Almighty Allah, the
Sustainer of the Worlds Whom we ask help and pardon.
We seek refuge in Allah from the evils within ourselves
and from our evil actions. He whom Allah guides
no one can lead astray and he who He leaves in error
has no one to guide him. I testify that there is
no deity but Allah and that Muhammad is His servant
and His messenger.
Almighty Allah has created humanity,
male and female, each in need of another, and has
established the institution of marriage as a means
of uniting the souls in a blessed bond of love leading
to their pleasure and happiness in a way advantageous
to humankind.
The Quran says, "It
is He Who has created man from water: then has He
established relationships of lineage and marriage:
for your Lord has power (over all things). " (25:54)
And He
reminds us of His great favors: "And among His signs
is that He created for you of yourselves spouses
that you may live in joy with them, and He has set
between you love and mercy. Surely in that are signs
for those who reflect." (30:22)
And Peace and Blessing be upon His
great and beloved Prophet and last Messenger Muhammad,
who emphatically urged Muslims to marry. He said:
"Young
men, those of you who can afford to marry should
do so. Marriage is the best check for lustful eyes
and an effective help to maintain chastity."
Brothers and sisters, at this auspicious
moment, we are uniting in the bond of marriage and
obedience to the guidance of our Creator and in
obedience to the practice of our beloved Prophet
(pbuh), our brother (his name) and sister (her name)
who have decided to live together as husband and
wife, sheltered with the blessings of Almighty Allah
and His divine Benevolence. May Allah fill their
lives with joy and may He grant them peace, health
and prosperity. May they always live together in
an atmosphere of tranquility and never diminishing
love and tender regard for each other.