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Seven Step to Strengthen Your Marriage!
Marriage demands work. A happy marriage
exacts the very best of us. Yet above all, maintaining a
successful marriage is a choice.
At every opportunity, the adversary will cunningly,
quickly supply us with negative responses to events and
people around us, especially our spouses.
After all, the breaking down of a marriage is one of his
prime opportunities to inflict eternal damage on
Heavenly Father’s children. But we can thwart Satan’s
efforts.
In the moment that the adversary suggests to us evil, unkind thoughts, we
can choose not to accept them—not to respond to our
spouse in |
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an unkind,
out-of-control way. We can choose instead to respond
with love and charity. As my husband and I strive to
develop the celestial attributes within ourselves
and the celestial potential in our marriage, we try
to abide by seven gospel-centered truths that help
us choose righteous responses.
1. We have a clear goal in
mind.
We visualize ourselves one day standing together in
the eternities as husband and wife. Whenever we
encounter a challenge with regard to our children,
we try to remember that the goal of building a
celestial marriage and gaining eternal life is the
most important, meaningful part of life together on
this earth.
2. We try to remember that
our Heavenly Father must be included in our
partnership.
No matter how much effort we spend, without Him we
will always fall short. We sustain and nourish our
marriage when we pray together as husband and wife,
ask for His help, and express love for one another
to Him.
3. We acknowledge the
reality that Satan is our enemy.
We have come to realize that we must be on constant
lookout for his sabotage. There is no event or no
failing he would not exploit to weaken and overcome
us.
4. When my husband and I
come to a tough moment, I choose to remember that he
is my best friend.
I remind myself, “He would not purposely do anything
to hurt me.” He takes the same attitude toward me.
This empowers us to be in control of our thoughts
and responses, and it takes control from our enemy.
5. We remember that we are
growing together toward perfection.
Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve
Apostles has said, “An ideal marriage is a true
partnership between two imperfect people, each
striving to complement the other, to keep the
commandments, and to do the will of the Lord” (“Our
Sacred Duty to Honor Women,” Ensign, May 1999, 39).
My husband and I try to remember that each of us is
imperfect. Much of the pressure in our relationship
is released when we both allow for the other’s
shortcomings.
6. We accept the reality
that differences of opinion occur, even in the best
marriages.
Respecting the opinion of one’s spouse honors and
builds that individual. Elder Nelson mentions
“striving to complement” each other. Complement,
spelled with an e, not an i, means to complete or
make perfect, not to be exactly alike. Two people
who are not exactly alike in thought can still build
a harmonious, enduring marriage. Recently, as my
husband and I witnessed a temple sealing, we were
reminded by the sealer’s counsel that it is more
important to be loving than to be right.
7. Honest but charitable
communication is essential to a solid marriage.
Dwelling on negative thoughts about a spouse or
about wrongs inflicted fosters unhappiness, damages
friendship, and can eventually lead to divorce.
Instead, each spouse must feel safe and free to
openly and honestly express thoughts and feelings.
My husband and I have found that the sooner our
concerns are expressed to one another, the sooner
harmony can be restored to our marriage.
Practicing these seven principles can help shield us
from the adversary’s attacks. There are times when
Satan wins a battle in the homes of married couples.
But as we align our hearts and our actions with
eternal truths, we can win the war.
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